Confusion

Let me be real
I don’t know how I feel
It finally hit me
I don’t really know the deal.

These feelings are new
I’m not sure what to do
Tears of confusion
Not tears over you.

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Indifferent

Truth be told
I’m no longer sad
I don’t feel to yell
Even though I’m mad.

I can’t answer
When I ask myself why
All I know now
Is I don’t even feel to cry.

Once was a time
My mind was blown
Didn’t want to leave
Now I’d rather be alone.

Keep your distance
Your hands to yourself
Lately I’d much rather
You touch somebody else.

Expect disappointment
One thing I learned
Set my expectations too high
Then I got burned.

Cold FoOd

I’m so tired
This shit is getting old
I just need to write
Fuck the food going cold.

I apologise; I’m vulgar
Stood high, stone cold walls
Money just called me up
Told me not to block his calls.

I’m tripping, no I’m not
I always feel regret.
Don’t do it, go ahead
You wanted to be the best.

Five bills, you’re crazy
You bet, the fuck, I’m mad
Dodged a loss right there
And truly I’m glad.

Phono Connector

Imagination runs wild
Always been a dreamer
But that I couldn’t fathom
And that was just a teaser.

Saw a couple red flags
Perhaps I should have known
People raised questions
Though I thought we were grown.

OK, be strong
Forget being gnarly
Put your guard up
Even if it’s just partly.

Two strikes, now.
Or should that be one?
Am I in my right mind
To say this is done?

Proceed with caution
But carry on with your plans
Get off those narcotics
That put you in a trance.

Here we go again
Analysis I can’t ignore
I don’t have to say a word
Just watch me walk out the door.

Never Ever

To you
It may seem the same
But everything has changed
And I have to be frank
But I don’t think the same way.

Forgive?
Not sure. Forget, never-
I doubt I’ll ever.
You took me for a fool
Knowing I’m damn well clever.

Priority
Was your feelings
Up until your dealings
So now I think of me
And assume you’re cheating.

Wrong
I may well be
But you let me see
A side I never knew
So I proceed cautiously.

Go Ahead

Go ahead girl,
Just act like it never happened
Act like you don’t think about it
That moment, how deep the cracks ran.

I know you died a little more that night
Yet on the surface you somehow grew
You got stronger with every breath
You made sure they all knew.

Pretend you don’t fall apart
Like you’re fine that nothing’s perfect
Pretend you don’t question it all
Asking yourself “Is it worth it?”

Keep faking that it’s fine
You’re not afraid of dependency
See how far it gets you
And in the end you’ll see.

Despair

Let me be honest
With myself
It’s only you
No one else
You swear the same
But I can’t really tell
Where are your thoughts
When you please
Yourself?

It’s you,
That I love
It’s you,
I don’t trust
And without that
Can there really
Be us?

It’s selfish
To ponder
For my mind
To wander
What you may
Be hiding
Beneath and under.

I just
Do not know
I just
Can’t let go
My mind it goes
To and fro.