Hypoxia

Can’t even sleep on it
That’s insomnia
Draining my life
Just like hypoxia.

I’ll tell the truth
But I need to think it through
Somewhere along the line
I fell out of love with you.

Go back to October sixteen
Hairline fracture
Jesus, please help me
Take me in the rapture.

The rug got higher
Uncomfortable to walk upon
I know you can’t feel it
But the mess isn’t gone.

I can’t take it back
I really can’t front
I have to be honest
But I don’t know what I want…

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Memories Erased

Poured my entire self
Into helping you
And in that process
I lost parts of me too.

I wanted to give in
I wanted to give up
Yet something inside
Just wouldn’t let me stop.

It told me you were different
You were unlike the rest
You were the one for me
That really was best.

At times I got frustrated
You just wouldn’t listen
So as a result of that
I created some distance.

It wasn’t just once
It wasn’t even twice
There were multiple occasions
Where you wasted my time.

It seemed you were ungrateful
For all the effort I put in
It felt you took me for granted
You didn’t care about a thing.

So I made myself scarce
For maybe a week or two
When I came to find out
Another girl was in your view.

The discovery saddened me
More so I was mad
I wanted no memories of you
So I tried to give back the bag.

I thought I’d be arrested
My temper I couldn’t control
And if I owned a gun
In your head there’d be a hole.

You couldn’t even explain
What you said made no sense
You lied to me repeatedly
As if I was dense.

Which just upset me further
All trust in you was lost
I doubted everything you ever said
Now my heart’s as cold as frost.

You enjoyed the attention
You boasted to your friend
All because you thought
I’d be there till the end.

I really tried my best with you
Though inadequate were my attempts
So now I’ll give myself the world
Until my heart’s content.

To know my best wasn’t enough
My time and effort was a waste
Leaves me feeling disappointed
And wanting memories erased.

Once You Were Mine

Once you were mine
Though that changed with time
As with time you didn’t change
You simply remained the same.

The love of my life
I dreamed of being your wife!
If only you had adjusted
Those words you spoke, I trusted.

You lacked drive, ambition
Never helped out in the kitchen
The bare minimum you performed
Whilst I shook up a storm.

It just really isn’t fair
There’s only so much I can care
So much I can do to improve you
Unless you really want it too.

Hate That I Love You

Why do I allow this?
Such wretched treatment
A dream nightmare
Occurring so frequent.

You build me up
Delight my broken soul
Fill in the many cracks
And make me feel whole.

Then I’m torn down
You’re sleeping, unwilling
To progress for us both
Our love, you’re killing.

Though somehow within
You really are my strength
Plus I’m certain that for me
You’d go to any length.

But still it doesn’t
Mean you will ever change
Conflicting emotions
Leave confusion in my brain.

I hate you so much
I love you even more
I think I should walk out
Wait, no. I’m not sure.

February 14th

It’s Valentine’s Day
Romance, love, appreciation
A day to cherish your love
Reminisce on your first flirtation.

Though instead for me
Whose life can never go right
Today might just be the deal breaker
Not the icing on the cake but the knife.

He slept through 11 days
As I watched on in depression
Not a concern for my wellbeing
Or the issues in question.

Made empty promises
Consistently put himself first
Though he could assist others
Yet couldn’t quite quench my thirst.

Not even a card
Or any kind of gesture he proposed
So I think this marks the end of an era
I announce this case, closed.