Despair

Let me be honest
With myself
It’s only you
No one else
You swear the same
But I can’t really tell
Where are your thoughts
When you please
Yourself?

It’s you,
That I love
It’s you,
I don’t trust
And without that
Can there really
Be us?

It’s selfish
To ponder
For my mind
To wander
What you may
Be hiding
Beneath and under.

I just
Do not know
I just
Can’t let go
My mind it goes
To and fro.

Empty

I picture us as glasses
Equally filled
Then me unto you
Myself I spilled.

Enamoured I was
In seeing you satiate
It brought me joy
To see you substantiate.

Always giving
I continued to pour
I permeated you
More and more.

One desolate day
I realised I was empty
I was bone dry
Whilst you had plenty.

But it was too late
I was incomplete
I had lost myself
And you had gained me.

Love Story

It was about 8 years ago
When we first spoke
We instantly clicked
Like a house up in smoke.

Somehow you were different
I hardly spoke to strangers
Though something let it happen
Perhaps it was my angels?

Soon we spoke daily
You became a best friend
Complimenting personalities
You were like a Godsend.

It wasn’t always easy
Things got complicated
Our friendship upset
The person I dated.

There were times we fell out
Didn’t speak for months
Both as stubborn as each other
This happened more than once.

Yet we always reunited
Felt like no time had passed
Back to being best friends
Oh so fast.

I guess at some point
We fell in love
Little did we know
It was a gift from above.

I didn’t want to lose our friendship
If our relationship ever failed
But it was inevitable
So courting entailed.

The most perfect thing followed
That I’ve ever known in my life
Effortless magnificence
It truly was divine.

I wanted to better you
Show you you were capable
I supported you greatly
Which made us seem unbreakable.

Then suddenly it happened
Everything went wrong
I started to lose hope
I started to feel less strong.

The thoughts going through my head
I just couldn’t fathom
For some strange reason
I couldn’t accept what happened.

I am so sad to say
Our relationship ended
But not only that
So did our friendship.

I can’t help but think
We made the wrong decision
I wonder if it’s too late
Lord, please give me a vision…

Memories Erased

Poured my entire self
Into helping you
And in that process
I lost parts of me too.

I wanted to give in
I wanted to give up
Yet something inside
Just wouldn’t let me stop.

It told me you were different
You were unlike the rest
You were the one for me
That really was best.

At times I got frustrated
You just wouldn’t listen
So as a result of that
I created some distance.

It wasn’t just once
It wasn’t even twice
There were multiple occasions
Where you wasted my time.

It seemed you were ungrateful
For all the effort I put in
It felt you took me for granted
You didn’t care about a thing.

So I made myself scarce
For maybe a week or two
When I came to find out
Another girl was in your view.

The discovery saddened me
More so I was mad
I wanted no memories of you
So I tried to give back the bag.

I thought I’d be arrested
My temper I couldn’t control
And if I owned a gun
In your head there’d be a hole.

You couldn’t even explain
What you said made no sense
You lied to me repeatedly
As if I was dense.

Which just upset me further
All trust in you was lost
I doubted everything you ever said
Now my heart’s as cold as frost.

You enjoyed the attention
You boasted to your friend
All because you thought
I’d be there till the end.

I really tried my best with you
Though inadequate were my attempts
So now I’ll give myself the world
Until my heart’s content.

To know my best wasn’t enough
My time and effort was a waste
Leaves me feeling disappointed
And wanting memories erased.

Selfish

Selfish is, as selfish does
Selfishness puts himself above
Selfish fibs, though selfish cries
If selfish catches you in a lie

Selfish puts his needs first
Selfishness really is the worst!
Selfish does what selfish pleases
Whatever selfish wants, he seizes

Selfishness has no regard
If selfish makes life hard
As long as selfish is satisfied
Selfish doesn’t care who cries

Do to selfish, what he does to you
And see how quickly you’d be through.

Once You Were Mine

Once you were mine
Though that changed with time
As with time you didn’t change
You simply remained the same.

The love of my life
I dreamed of being your wife!
If only you had adjusted
Those words you spoke, I trusted.

You lacked drive, ambition
Never helped out in the kitchen
The bare minimum you performed
Whilst I shook up a storm.

It just really isn’t fair
There’s only so much I can care
So much I can do to improve you
Unless you really want it too.

Hate That I Love You

Why do I allow this?
Such wretched treatment
A dream nightmare
Occurring so frequent.

You build me up
Delight my broken soul
Fill in the many cracks
And make me feel whole.

Then I’m torn down
You’re sleeping, unwilling
To progress for us both
Our love, you’re killing.

Though somehow within
You really are my strength
Plus I’m certain that for me
You’d go to any length.

But still it doesn’t
Mean you will ever change
Conflicting emotions
Leave confusion in my brain.

I hate you so much
I love you even more
I think I should walk out
Wait, no. I’m not sure.

Godsend

As I lay here
Staring at my love
I truly believe
God sent him from above.

Not just for joy
But to test my patience
To simply hold on
Though I really hate waiting.

To make me more arduous
To forgive and forget
To make me the wife
Who won’t ever fret.

Not just for me
But for my love also
God sent him me
Good footsteps to follow.

A hand to hold
To guide him to the light
A reason to succeed
For my love, he’ll fight.

To stay within boundaries
To not take advantage
For we both keep each other
Out of the darkness.

Walking Away

My beautiful love
You failed me, consistently
Now I must walk away
Woefully and dismally.

Still infatuated
Stimulated by your scent
That lingers on my pyjamas
From when I laid in your bed.

Each morning I wake
You’ll forever be on my mind
And never will I forget
The many times times you were kind.

Though it’s heart vs head
My body against my brain
I want you so bad yet
You cause me so much pain.