Despair

Let me be honest
With myself
It’s only you
No one else
You swear the same
But I can’t really tell
Where are your thoughts
When you please
Yourself?

It’s you,
That I love
It’s you,
I don’t trust
And without that
Can there really
Be us?

It’s selfish
To ponder
For my mind
To wander
What you may
Be hiding
Beneath and under.

I just
Do not know
I just
Can’t let go
My mind it goes
To and fro.

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Memories Erased

Poured my entire self
Into helping you
And in that process
I lost parts of me too.

I wanted to give in
I wanted to give up
Yet something inside
Just wouldn’t let me stop.

It told me you were different
You were unlike the rest
You were the one for me
That really was best.

At times I got frustrated
You just wouldn’t listen
So as a result of that
I created some distance.

It wasn’t just once
It wasn’t even twice
There were multiple occasions
Where you wasted my time.

It seemed you were ungrateful
For all the effort I put in
It felt you took me for granted
You didn’t care about a thing.

So I made myself scarce
For maybe a week or two
When I came to find out
Another girl was in your view.

The discovery saddened me
More so I was mad
I wanted no memories of you
So I tried to give back the bag.

I thought I’d be arrested
My temper I couldn’t control
And if I owned a gun
In your head there’d be a hole.

You couldn’t even explain
What you said made no sense
You lied to me repeatedly
As if I was dense.

Which just upset me further
All trust in you was lost
I doubted everything you ever said
Now my heart’s as cold as frost.

You enjoyed the attention
You boasted to your friend
All because you thought
I’d be there till the end.

I really tried my best with you
Though inadequate were my attempts
So now I’ll give myself the world
Until my heart’s content.

To know my best wasn’t enough
My time and effort was a waste
Leaves me feeling disappointed
And wanting memories erased.

Miracle

Last night as I laid in bed and cried

I spoke my heart and told God why.

Though I was sad I knew that whatever

Was going on would soon become better.


So I trusted the Lord and tried to sleep

Next morning apparent I didn’t catch a peep.

I still felt down but knew it’d be okay

Left the house feeling unprepared for the day.


When I arrived at the dreaded, awful place

I was shockingly surprised by smiles and grace

An apology in disguise was even heard

Clear to see that a miracle had occurred!


I still stood my ground and stayed alone

Occupied my time with a friend on the phone.

I felt so at ease, I had worried for nothing

The whole evening before I had spent fussing.


A little while later, I started to feel uneasy

My heart was pounding, difficulty breathing

I didn’t know why yet I still trusted the Lord

Got home safely and now I feel assured.


I’m sure this is a message directly from Him

He definitely wants to tell me something.

Maybe through these poems i’ll find a light

To guide me to the life which He knows is right.

Trust Issues

You say you trust me but I don’t know why

Because it’s clear to me that you’re telling a lie

Why do you question if I’ve been with every guy?

Those words hurt me, but to you it’s alright

 

I admit i’m not perfect, we all make mistakes

But I moved on from that, left behind the fakes

You know for you, i’d do whatever it takes

But if you don’t trust me our love is at stake

 

So if this issue cannot be resolved

Let’s just move on as two separate souls.

I’ll change my mindset, my life and my goals

Because soon enough, this love will turn cold…